An SHIELD team-building exercise
by bhut
Summary: Mid-S5 season AU. Coulson and some members of his team get caught in Thanos' cosmic blip slash snap. Now what? Some Philinda, other ships.


**An S.H.I.E.L.D. team-building exercise**

_Disclaimer: all of the characters here belong to Marvel™. None are mine._

I

…Things were not going according to plan. This was what Phil Coulson thought, as he realized that he was lying face first on something flat and hard and cold – i.e., some sort of a stone floor, with one of his hands clasping something that was very different – aka warm and soft, like someone's leg.

…Ok, there was a time in Phil's life when this sort of thing was baseline for him instead, but these days? Certainly not. Admittedly, with some effort, he raised his head to look around and realized that he was lying in a completely unknown place to him, with just Melinda out of his team for company. It was her leg that Phil was grasping, but Melinda did not appear to be her usual prickly self and instead was patiently waiting for him to wake up.

"How are you?" she softly asked her oldest friend, (Maria Hill did not count, her relationship with the Cavalry had been something else), in a manner that ticked-off all of Phil's alarm bells.

"What's wrong?" he asked instead.

"Our team is missing, we're somewhere that can be anywhere, the place seems to change whether you look around directly or from a corner of your eye, and my leg hurts," Melinda replied succinctly. "You? Your take on things?"

"Well…" Coulson shifted into a sitting position next to Melinda and looked around. The two of them were seemingly sitting in some atypical building with just a single lamp burning dimply on top of them. Everything was deserted, including the open doorways that gaped like spaces from knocked-out teeth in jaws, and the two passageways at the opposite ends of this space.

"So, Mel, right, left, or sideways?" Phil asked the latter, even as he pulled down her pants to check up on her leg. "Though just for the record? Your leg seems to be healing nicely, and when did it get hurt? In the future?"

"Yes, I guess I didn't tell you," Melinda pulled her pants back up – the stone floor was cold and dirty enough for her not to sit upon it with a naked arse. "When Fitz's new Chromicom friends sent us to the future, I've materialized – if that's the right term – in a wrong place, and had my leg wounded. By the time that we have defeated Kasius and his people and were ready to go home via a surrogate Monolith, it appeared to have healed-"

"It has," Coulson nodded solemnly. "It isn't up to its old self, but it's getting there."

Melinda swapped him on the shoulder and smiled weakly. "Thanks, Phil, I needed that. You always were a good man to me…" she trailed off as both of them turned red and looked elsewhere but at each other. "Right. Let us try again. Phil, I think that we should go to the right – there is a fresh breeze coming through it, it probably leads to an external exit out of here." She looked at her feet, and at the floor and thought some more. "I think that I need to take off my shoes," she reached a conclusion. "Even with your help, I don't think that the local floor will be too friendly to my shoes."

Coulson started to think this over: he was aware that Melinda's footwear, while usually practical, also had some impressive heels, because otherwise, she would be on an equal height basis with the FitzSimmons, and that was really short. That said, he could not help but to feel that the local floor will be even less friendly to bare – or even stockinged – feet, and was about to tell Melinda that, when he heard footsteps. Judging by Melinda's reaction, so did her. The pair looked around to try to see as to from where those footsteps were coming from – and sure enough, there was Grant Ward, flanked by agent 33, emerging from one of the corridors.

If his expression was anything to go on by, their former friend was anything but happy to see them.

"And what are you doing here?" he muttered, as he and agent 33 moved in an odd sideways fashion over to them.

"I could ask the same thing – the two of you are dead," Coulson muttered, as the younger pair just helped him and Melinda to their feet…with minimum of hostility too, FYI.

"Yeah, and so are you two," Ward did not back down. "How'd that happen?"

"…Must've been that bloody surrogate Monolith of Fitz and his new friend," Melinda groaned. "Believe it or not, Ward, Palamas, but we ended up in the future at a certain point, and it was a mess, and we were coming home, and then…" Melinda paused, and gamely continued: "and then we ended up here, wherever 'here' is."

Ward sceptically looked at Melinda – he had heard the pause in Melinda's narrative and did not believe it. Neither did Palamas and Coulson had his own issues with it. Yet what Ward said was: "This is Limbo, a vestibule of sorts. The Lower Planes are behind us, the exit is in front of us, and we are leaving. Want to come with us?"

"…Why are you leaving?" Coulson blinked. It was not the smartest question that he could have asked, but it showed.

"Because we aren't ready to stay," Ward snapped back. "You and Melinda?"

"Ditto," the Cavalry admitted instead of Coulson, as she got positioned between Ward and the aforementioned Coulson, because her leg did still hurt and she needed help to move around still. "That said…" she paused, "do you feel that our surroundings are different and disturbing?"

"Yes, Cavalry," the other woman sighed. "We're in the land of the dead. Of course, our surroundings are different and disturbing. What'd you expect?"

"Good point," Melinda muttered, as now she could hear some strange noises in the walls. "Also, do you hear something strange?" she asked even as they began to move on.

"Also, it's probably a good thing not to look back – in the old stories this when and how it always went wrong," Ward murmured back. "Shall we go on?"

They did. Melinda did stumble several times, even though the floor looked to be absolutely mundane and level, but due to her being supported by the others, she did not fall. Several times, she… did feel something, some sort of a gaze on her back, some sort of a cold breath ruffling her hair, but despite those disturbing distractions, nothing else happened.

And then they entered the doorway, and the world exploded.

II

"What the-?" several people out of the four said as one, when they dingy lit stairway vanished, replaced by – the Everglades? The weather felt hot and humid almost to the point of oppression, and the surroundings were lush and green, albeit so dark, that they were almost to the point of darkness, again.

"Hmm," Kara looked off to their left, and grew thoughtful. "Hey! Is anyone around here? We're with S.H.I.E.L.D!" she suddenly yelled aloud, startling the others. "Ahoy!"

At first, there was nothing, just the rustling of leaves that grew on the trees and shrubs around them. …Just moments before, there had been no wind at all in the entire dense wood, but now there was, and while it felt like just a slight breeze, now it was growing in strength and intensity.

Off Melinda's flank, (no innuendo intended), Phil stiffened. "Our surroundings… they appear to be changing," he muttered softly. "I think that I see flashes of water on our left, and it is no longer so hot…"

Trees and shrubs all but literally burst on the foursome's right side, revealing rather flustered and dirty Mack and Yo-Yo. "Oh bleep," Melinda sighed. "The substitute Monolith got you too?"

"Yes," Mack blinked, before he looked at the other couple. "Say, don't I know you?"

"Sure," Agent 33 nodded, "I served alongside you on the Iliad. Sorry to hear how it all has ended, what with the InHumans of Li Shi and all." She switched her attention to Yo-Yo, and to some surprise, the two women began to animatedly chat in Spanish.

"We're getting out of here," Coulson quietly told the Afro-American agent. "You and Yo-Yo are coming?"

"Yes, we're certainly are game," Mack replied to Coulson equally quietly, "but there is no path-"

Mack trailed away as the others pointed out with their fingers that right now they all were standing on a path in question: it was covered in short, but still lush, dark green grass, but there were no shrubs, trees, or saplings upon it all the same.

"Where did that come from?" Mack blinked. "Me and Yo-Yo looked all over this place?"

"Really?" Grant raised an eyebrow. "There wasn't a small room with the creature comforts in it-?"

"No, more like a small tent instead," Mack shook his head. "Yo-Yo! Are you done?"

Both Yo-Yo and Kara stared at Mack. "Sorry to interrupt," the big man backed down some, but not very much. "But we need to start moving. Can't you talk and walk?"

"What he said," Grant nodded, as he pointed to the group's left flank. "I think that we're overstaying our welcome."

The others looked and saw that the land, shrubs and trees on that direction was mostly gone, fallen and/or washed away by the ever approaching tide of blue-white water, which contained a number of much darker, dirty-black, shapes that were suspiciously similar to alligators in their overall appearance.

"Has anyone here have any experience in alligator wrestling?" Melinda muttered, "Because I don't."

"Everyone? Hold onto each other," Yo-Yo said in a voice that was atypically matter-of-fact for her. This was probably the reason as to why everyone complied, and Yo-Yo let rip a burst of speed. Trees and shrubs flew as a blur, especially on the right side, as on the left they abruptly vanished, replaced by a faded blue-white vacuum of nothingness, it did not even look like water or like anything of the Earth – and that vacuum was swallowing everything that fell into it, things like dirt, and plants, and the path-

…And then there was some sort of an exit, and Yo-Yo carried them through it through sheer inertia, and there was some sort of a reality explosion, and-

III

The agents collapsed on the other side of the exit. The scenery has changed once more, from Everglades in summer, (yes the state of Florida had its' seasons, it wasn't a purely tropical state yet, global warming or not), to Canada in winter – possibly late winter – complete with a dense layer of fluffy, yet cold snow on the ground, and icicles hanging from snow-covered tree branches of the surrounding trees.

"This is certainly different," Yo-Yo muttered, as she had practically fallen onto Mack from sheer physical exhaustion – this had been intense running even by her standards. "I won't be running as fast any time soon," she told them as soon as she and the others have stopped (and dropped where they have landed).

"No problem," Mack said conversationally. "I reckon we can handle on our own." He began to shiver, (as he was dressed for a Florida summer, not a Canada winter) and stopped. "Say, is it just me, or-"

"I think that things are beginning to break apart – literally," Grant muttered, as he first pointed at the sparkling icicles and then at the sky, which was actually sunless and acquiring an odd lilac coloring instead. "Whatever is going on around here, we really shouldn't remain long enough to get caught in it."

"I hear you," Mack nodded without any hostility, (but then again, he never been on the Bus when the entire mess with Garret in particular and Hydra in general went down, plus he had had his own conflict with Coulson and co. regarding the Iliad), before turning around and shouting really loudly, (as only he could):

"Is anyone's here? S.H.I.E.L.D. is passing by and leaving this dump behind!"

There was a pause, and then the bushes parted, revealing Lance and Bobbi of all people.

"Of course," Kara said sourly (and for a good reason), "You two would be here. Of course."

"Zip it," Lance muttered back with the same amount of hostility, (even though he and Kara had never really met each other face to face aside from some misadventures regarding Coulson and Gonzales before S.H.I.E.L.D.'s takedown of Hydra's Arctic base). "I don't know why you are here-"

"The FitzSimmons surrogate Monolith has failed," Yo-Yo spoke up, startling everyone – the other woman sounded off in a very natural manner that was not promising anything truly good all the same. "Hence, here we are. We are leaving this place. Want to come with us?"

Bobbi opened her mouth and had a really bad coughing fit, almost choking on her coughs. "Someone slap her on the back," Kara said in a dispassionate voice, and Mack instinctively complied, slapping Bobbi so hard that the blonde-haired woman seemed to spit out something alongside her coughs. "Kara," she managed wheeze, "I'm sorry about what had went down-"

"And while I won't quite say that you're forgiven, neither am I going to rub it into your face or hold it over you," the slimmer woman shook her head. "We're done, Barbara, now let's get out of here, and by that I mean all of us."

There was a pause as everyone looked askance at Grant. "What?" the big man replied, and if he did not sound fully happy, neither did he sound too upset. "It's Kara's call; she made it, the end."

"Bugger this," Lance replied bitterly, "are you saying that if Bob had made some sort of an apology, no matter how half-arsed, back then it would all be over before it began?"

"Yes," both Grant and Kara replied immediately.

"I hate you all," Bobbi muttered: her coughing fit stopped, but she still looked to be in a bad way. "Including you," she shot Coulson a look. "I thought that you were going to be different from what Victoria and Furry and the others previously had, but I was wrong, it was more of the same, and then me and Hunter couldn't get out-"

"Of course not," Melinda sighed. "As always, Phil, you can _win_ people, but you cannot _keep_ them… Can you walk?" she abruptly asked the Englishwoman while Coulson sputtered in reply.

Bobbi looked down.

"People," Yo-Yo said suddenly. "It is getting darker here."

It most certainly was. The formerly lilac sky was turning moleskin black, and the surroundings have changed, as the icicle-bearing trees, (almost chandelier-like with their sparkle), had vanished, now being replaced by opaque, dark, prickly, snow-covered shrubs. The path was still visible, but it was more meandering now.

"Right," Kara nudged Ward. "We need to move, but I believe some reshuffling is in order as well."

And there certainly was! By the time it was over, it were Coulson and Mack who were supporting May now, Kara was supporting Yo-Yo, who was still exhausted, and Ward and Lance were supporting Bobbi instead – and then they were off.

Just in time too, as the road was now hard and slippery underfoot, and the cold winds were blowing snow all over the place. The now-large team shook and slipped and had to grab each other from toppling off the path all the time, but topple for real they did not, and then they moved around the bend in the road and behind a big wind-blocking prickly bush, and then there was another doorway, blazing with warm bright light – very different from the cold, (almost gold-like) light of the tree icicles earlier – and then the agents were through.

IV

"Now what," Phil muttered, as the latest light explosion had faded, and they were somewhere else yet. "Are we hot or are we cold?"

"We're on a staircase, Phil," Grant snapped back, sounding flustered for the first time since this entire misfortunate reunion. "And look, there's the – Koenigs?"

There was a pause as everyone beheld the most – familial of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agents. "And what are you doing here?" Phil could not help but to ask. "We don't remember seeing you in the future."

There was a pause as the Koenigs – all of them – stood in front of the group in a group of their own: Eric, Sam, Billy, Thurston, and – L.T., (the sister of them all). It was her who spoke and gave Coulson a very particular look:

"The future, director? You got a very interesting life lately. But no, most of us died when Thanos made his snap, because the Avengers have floundered," came the reply.

"They did? But they're the Avengers!" Phil proclaimed almost despite his best intentions.

"..Yes, well, an 'even Homer sometimes sleeps' sort of thing," Sam Koenig muttered, as Phil's proclamation has apparently caught them flat-footed, (Coulson was known for doing that sort of thing to almost everyone, except for Nick Fury, Maria Hill, and captain Rogers). "Anyhow-"

"So we're here not because of a FitzSimmons' surrogate Monolith misfiring?" Melinda could not help but to add her two bits to this train wreck of a conversation (and more).

"No, though a surrogate alien Monolith does sound interesting," said another Koenig. "Looks like we've missed a lot-"

"And on this note I just want to apologize to you for killing one of you," Grant said smoothly, surprising everyone, (for the obvious reasons).

"Oh, and you think that makes it just fine-"

"Of course not, but it has to be done all the same," Grant shrugged, but didn't back down, "and you know that as well as I do, because dead know more than the living do."

"You're full of it, you know-"

"Which brings us to the next point? Want to come along? We're coming back to the land of the living and all," Kara piped up. "Mind you, we're surprised to meet you here and not in the Purgatory, for example, but regardless you're invited to this party."

There was a pause as the Koenigs just quietly looked at each other. "We are?" one of them asked, with an odd vocal expression, very atypical for this S.H.I.E.L.D. family.

"Yes," Coulson said brightly, (doing his best to cover up the fact that he did not think of this idea in the first place). "You are, obviously."

"Then we'll take it!" another Koenig – maybe Thurston – said brightly, as the family group left their initial position, (revealing yet another doorway in the process), and moved to the rear of the group. "Onwards, our good friends!"

"What are we getting into?" Melinda wondered, but went along with the rest of the group.

V

…On the other side of this doorway was another staircase, rather than a corridor, and upon it lay Daisy.

And upon Daisy was Deke Shaw.

"Say what now?" Phil snapped despite his best intentions, but then again, returning from the land of the dead to the land of the living was tiring. "Young man, what is the meaning of this?"

"It's not what it looks like!" Deke jumped upwards, but lost his balance and fell upon his butt. "Daisy, tell him!"

"Yes, I was going down to rescue you, when stupid Deke dropped upon me and knocked us both out," Daisy said crossly, as she rubbed the back of her head. "On the plus side, D.C., I'm glad to see that you're ok on your own and about to get us out of here." She was either ignoring Ward and agent 33, or failed to see them, but then again, there were many people in a fairly small space now.

"Yes, and on this note," Melinda said crossly… though she was actually feeling better now: her leg was not really hurting anymore, and she was not the only one – Yo-Yo no longer looked so tired, and even Bobbi seemed to be back to her regular self by now. "Shall we go around and through this door?"

"Ooh, yes!" Deke said brightly. "You want to do the honors?"

"No," Melinda said suddenly. "Kara – it's yours."

"Thank you," Kara moved forwards, flanked by Yo-Yo, Ward and the others. "Hey again, Skye. Long-time no talk."

"Er," Daisy began, as she apparently finally saw the ex-S.H.I.E.L.D agent…both of them, actually, but the mini-crowd's movement pushed them all forwards, the door opened wide…

…And then there was light.

VI

"Uh, where are we?" Coulson groaned, as again he found himself face first on a floor. This time, though, the floor was wooden, and covered with a soft warm carpet – a real one – and that, again, brought back memory flashbacks of days gone by long ago, days that he didn't really want to re-visit right now, (damn Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D.'s T.A.H.I.T.I. protocol), and so he sat up.

This time they were in no stairwell, or corridor, or some fake forest, full of alligators, or snowstorms, or anything else, but in a room that was full of genuine furniture, with genuine windows, that showed outside a genuine… NYC city landscape?

"Yes, we're in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s old NYC compound," Ward spoke from his position of the room. "Don't keep the window open for too long – it's kind of cold these days, it being autumn and all."

"Shut up, Ward – can you imagine? It's real smells, feelings and sights-" Melinda paused, blinked and turned to face Kara. "Ah, sorry for tricking Grant killing you?"

"Don't mention it," the other woman replied. "Do any of us here have any plans how to proceed further?"

There was a pause as everyone looked around. "I got the newspapers!" Deke yelled from outside the room. "I mean – one of the Koenigs did! And holy crap, did you know that half of all Earth's population is gone?"

There was another pause. "I'm going to kill Fury," Phil said wearily. "I just will."

"I'll help!"

"Melinda, you don't to sound so happy."

"Sorry…"

_TBC…_


End file.
